Wednesday, April 18, 2007


well i outdid myself in the dream department the other

another first person dream of Dying!

Tis amazing how this is.....many of my dreams have it
where i am *as* another person, as if i were that
person: someone i do not know at all. Thus i run
through whatever experiences this person has,
whatever. Am i dreaming his dream, with him? Am i
using his images?
Small Point in question here.....Am i using his DREAMS
or am i using what he sees? the dreams may be colored
by his own slants upon life.
I use "he"....but ladies and children too, i guess:
often i cannot tell the age or sex.

I have thus been killed many many times! I have
drowned...been shot...fallen off of clifts...and dying
of sickness, via other people.
I recall that homosexual orge that i attended AS one
of the participants, maybe twenty men. all naked and
writhing in a pile of sexing flesh. i awoke as i felt
a penis going into my rectum!

I do NOT talk about these dreams to many, as i will
offend most people with them. why i have dreamed bits
of people's lives that DID NOT stop at that person's
who could i tell? who would understand? I am not
liked very well as it is, there is no one that i talk
to about these dreams and i expect WHO
could i tell about the dream that i am about to relate

I am an old man, i guess, on his sickbed, in a nursing
home, private room, or in his own house.
I lie there fully counscious, and i am aware that i am
dying. I am aware that i have lived an OK life and i
am also knowing that my life is over. This IS my
deathbed and now or later i will die, within hours.
I am a mindfull man [college professor?!] and i do not
believe in any kind of afterlife. I will be extinct
upon death: this bothers me not as i know that i will
not miss anything as there will be no ME, no awareness
after i a rock aware that it is dead?! thus
i will slide into unknowingness soon.

this begins to happen. a band of a dark circle appears
around my outer vision. I feel cold and darkness
descends: i fall into darkness and i say 'goodbye and
goodnight" as everything collapses into darkness and
Suddenly i am aware that i am aware!! I feel that
my eyelids are closed and i see no more "black" on my
eyelids: this troubles me as i am suppossed to be
I open my eyes, i see the walls of my room as before.
But i died!
A doctor then enters the room and i see him before me
and he begins to examine my body, i try to talk and i
raise my arm out to his arm and i suddenly see that my
hand passess right through this doctor's arm as if i
were a GHOST! He does not hear what i say and i pass
right though very very weird, i say. AND
I am dead but i still have an existance!!! but no one
can see or hear me.
---next scene: some time must have passed. a lady
appears in my room, she has a srange kind of glow
about her that has her seem not like the "other
people" who had come before her. she walks up to me
and begins to talk to me and i can hear her quite
good, much better than other people for some reason!
she tells me "that i am dead!!" she tells me that i
must go on to heaven and depart from the
earthstuckness of my room.

[perhaps "I" stayed a while of time in my room, being
a ghost-indeed, and a psychic lady was brought by the
family to "exorcize" my ghost!]

after she leaves, i ponder some more.....
i realize that i do live, somehow, after death and
that there may be indeed a heaven up there in the sky
and i do need to go to it. I do something that i
rarely ever did, in my life.
I pray!
i prayed that if there was a God and a heaven that
some angel would come and show me the way to the
heaven that is supposed to be there.

I sit, then, in that empty room. suddenly i see
motion over by the window! one of the plants by the
window seems to have a life of its own and it is as if
that plant is actually beckoning me to come to look
out of the window! I walk over to look out.
suddenly, i float out of the window and float out over
the yard and circle about the yard, briefly, about ten
feet off of the ground. Quite an exhilerating
then i begin to be drawn upwards as if there was some
force or being that is doing this to me....i float
upwards towards the an ever increasing
feeling of JOY!
...the dreams ends.

Yes,what a very interesting dream: someone's death and
afterlife. first person. Burned into my brain, the
memories of that very very vivid dream. I wonder if
such dreams are there in order to prepare ME for my
own death?! My father had all of his relatives and
friends prepare him for death, from about three or
four years before he died. i say "prepared' as I and
the others have dreams where my father was actually
present in spirit in that person's dream, where Dudley
was actually being instructed or shown....things about
death and dyings!
thus i would imagine that i would thus be prepared
before i die, also, in some way. messege to me: do
not hang around the earthsphere, to go off and look at
the scenery or to go to seee all of my friends and
relatives, after i die: go off directly to heaven

As i was present at my friend's wife's childbirth, of
one of her kids...i can come to this conclusion:

that we all help each other to be born and to help
each other to die!

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